Bren-303 Promised Land Version 1.0: 06/11/92 Comic Lollipop Artwork and story by Bren-303 Translated by Curtis Hoffmann and Kiyoshi Takenaka English word balloons by Bob Angell 77-2 Boy Travelling? Girl To the West Coast. -3 Girl How far to the next town? -4 Boy A little over 50 miles. It's far, if you walk. 78-1 Girl My car broke down. Boy I can fix it. Coffee? Girl Mmhmm. -2 Boy Where did you leave it? Girl Well, actually -- -3 Girl -- east, a little over 50 miles. Boy Then hitch hike. -4 Girl I will. 79-1 [Rumble of approaching truck] -2 Boy [Truck rolls by] What's east? Girl Eh? -3 Boy [Truck fades away] Job conditions. Girl There are some. Jobs you do in the back seat of a car. 80-1 Girl What's this? -2 [Psssh] -3 Boy That's the kind of drink we sell around here. -4 Girl It's just you, living alone out here? -5 Girl Is there anyone else here? 81-1 Boy I'm by myself. I escaped from a town in the east. I don't like the hectic life. And, truck drivers come here. "100 Mile Women" come, too. Everyone is a customer. -2 Boy What is in that town? -3 Girl Chance. 82-1 Boy In the backseat of a car...? Girl I want to be a model. -2 Boy I expect we'll see your name in neon. If you have $1,000,000 in your pocket, it's paradise where ever you are. -3 Girl I hope it's not neon in front of a topless dance bar. By the way, the point is -4 Girl I'd like you to buy me for one hour. 83-3 Boy Ah -- I though I heard you say that you wanted to be a model. -4 Girl We need to prime the pump to get a chance. I'm penniless. Boy How much? 84-1 Girl $50, and throw in the bourbon coffee. 86-1 Mmmm... 87-1 Ahh... -2 Hah mmm 88-1 Boy [Creak creak] grunt Girl Uhh. -2 Girl Gasp 89-1 Girl Ahh.... -2 Boy Wouldn't you like to be an employee here? Girl I don't. -3 Boy At least, I can offer you a place to sleep, even if there's no chance here. 90-2 Girl If you say anything more, I won't be able to say "goodbye," cheerfully! -3 Girl Ahhhhh..... 91-1 Girl Gasp, gasp. -2 Girl Haa Boy haa -- -3 Girl Stretch..... 92-1 Girl Bye. 93-2 Boy A year later, the old Coors highway billboard was changed. Looks like she's got her chance. 94-1 Boy I expect that when this billboard gets old, she'll walk the 50 miles from town to here. (No real reason.) Boy With a big suitcase, and a chance. Bren-303 Trouble Is My Business Version 1.0: 06/11/92 Comic Lollipop Artwork and story by Bren-303 Translated by Curtis Hoffmann and Kiyoshi Takenaka English word balloons by Bob Angell Part One Bru. = Brunette. Don't know her name. 41-1 Lydia "Headquarters to all units -- be on the look-out for robbery suspects --" -2 Lydia I've been hearing those kinds of reports over and over again -- I'm sick of it! -3 Bru. Only because you haven't been in the thick of it. 42-1 Lydia The Director doesn't have a CLUE as to what's happening on the streets! Once, criminals held up drug stores with Saturday Night Specials. But NOW -- SHIT, do you know what I was shot with? -2 Bru. A slug, and three .44 mag. pellet rounds -- Lydia Well, it's ONE way to get a one-month vacation! 43-1 Bru. But at least you're still alive. -2 Lydia I'd rather NOT be killed in the line of duty. I say -- leave that kind of crazy-work for RAW. -4 Bru. The Law? Lydia R-A-W! Riot and Attacked Warm -- those Damned INSECTS! -5 [Chak] 44-1 Radio Attention all units -- Jewelry store robbery has been reported. Suspects have been sighted heading north on Route 110. Both ! Radio Warning -- suspects are known to be armed with laser-mounted assault rifles. Treat with caution. -2 Bru. B-114, Roger. -3 Lydia Want some hollow points? Bru. No THANKS! -4 Bru. Do you know what the Chief would do to me if I killed someone with one shot? I'd be forced to resign. And I'M certainly not ready to die in the line of duty. See you later -- [heart] ! 45-1 [Click] -2 [Ting] -3 Bru. Rusty!? -4 Bru. Rusty --. 46-1 Bru. Hey -- are you still hitting up on the nurses!? Rusty!! -2 [Ga-chak] -4 [Sirens] [Rushing cars] 47-1 Cop 1 The doctors and nurses have all been evacuated from the roof, sir. -2 Cop 2 Uh, sir, you've put your bulletproof vest on backwards, sir... Cop 3 Don't tell him -- don't tell him! Dir. And the patients? -3 Cop 1 An officer -- Rusty -- was discovered dead at one of the entrances. A list was found on his body. Apparently, there was only one patient, who was discharged this morning. The negotiator (a "Red Jacket") will arrive within 15 minutes, Sir. Dir. There's no reason to wait -- tell the men to storm the building! 48-1 Leader Roger. [Click] -2 Leader [Helmet shuts] [Chik] OK -- It's showtime! -3 RAW [Chik chik chik chik] 49-2 Lydia ? -3 Lydia ...... What the ...... -4 Lydia [Click slide] Where'd everyone go? 50-1 [Blam] [Eject] [Boom] -3 [Budda budda budda] [Lock-on] 51-2 [Snap] -3 [Brrrrrrrp] -5 [Thud thud thud] [Brrrrrrp] 52-1 [Brrrrrrp] [Tatatatata] [klik klik klik] Voice RAW! Fire a CN cannister!! -4/5 [Blam] [Eject] 53-1 [Fwooosh] Wah! -4 [Ka-chak] 54-1 Lydia [Running] [Shooting] [Skid] Freeze!!! Dick head -- (Deck head) -3 [Ka-blam] 55-1/2/3 [Blam -- blam -- blam] [Smash] -4 Dir. What's he SHOOTING at!? 56-1 Dir. There's someone down there? Who'd be that STUPID!!? Op. Charles Bronson, maybe? Leader Whoever it is, they just shot one of the criminals dead -- -2 Leader What are your orders, Sir! [Gzzt] -3 Dir. Shit. -4 Dir. Tell everyone to fall back! We'll use the time to check the patient list! Do it! Leader [Brrrrrrp] Roger. -5 Leader Fall back! RAW -- disengage the enemy! 57-1 RAW ATTACK MODE -2 Control [Pop pop pop pop] What the hell??? Tech Huh!? -3 [Pop] -4 Leader [Whrrrrr] RAW -- FALL BACK!! 59-1 Leader RAW?? [Tik tik tik tik tik tik] Control, get your heads out of your asses! RAW!! -3 Leader [Tik] Shit, fall back!! -4 [Budda budda budda budda] 58-1 Control Sir! RAW's monitors have all blacked-out! -2 Control [Bam bam bam] We've been cut-off from the outside!! -3 Leader HQ, we have 3 dead men, one wounded! Control -- what the fuck [tik tik tik tik tik] are you guys DOING out there!! Dir. [Stunned silence] 60-1 Control Riot Mode? Who ordered it into Riot Mode!? Dir. Order it to fall back..... -2 Leader That thing will attack ANYONE that's armed... -3 Dir. Right now! All entrances and exits are to be sealed off!!! (ie -- everyone in the building has become expendable.) Part 2 ------ 25-1 Voice We have determined that there is at least one person trapped in the building with the criminals. The RAW Control van has been inactivated somehow. Right now, we're trying to put an escape plan together, to get that person away from RAW... -2 Lydia Last issue, there were some editing problems -- sorry. Pages 58 and 59 were reversed, and the dialog on page 44 should be altered as follows. Sorry about that. 26-1 Cop The Governor demands that you take action to rescue the captive, Sir... Dir. Anything I do at this point will be a mistake... Squad Leader! -2 Leader Sir? -3 Dir. I want you to change into civvies and infiltrate the hospital... Leader Are you out of you're mind!? -4 Leader You want me to go alone up against that mad cannon? At least let me take a full squad along! Dir. What kind of spineless coward are you!? This isn't going to look good on your record!! 27-1 Lydia [Click click] Why's it gotta be closed off... -2 Both Ah. -3 Lydia Open the gate! Hurry up, open!! [Draw] What are you waiting for!? Ok, here! -4 Lydia Lydia Owens -- L.A.P.D.! 28-1 Lydia Quickly! -2 Cop Give me your badge -- I'll call it into Control -- in the meantime, don't move!! (Come on, come on, I don't have all day!) -3 [Krang] -4 [Boom Boom Boom] 29-1 [Boom] -2 [Bang bang bang] Ah -- Ah -- -3 [Smash] [Pad pad pad] 30-1 [Chak] -2 Bad guy Stop shooting -- listen. From the roof! -3/4 [Copter sounds] 31-1 [Copter sounds] -2 Dir. Who called in the Air Force?? Leader [Thwap thwap thwap] How about just handing over control to them... -3 Dir. Get out of here, you coward! Girl 4 suspects!? Wait, there's confirmation for only 3!? -4 Dir. Send in a small squad to storm the building! 32-1 Lydia [Chak] [Huff huff] I quit! I'm resigning as of right now! -2 [Listening] -3 Lydia ...... (Realizes that she's half naked.) -4 Lydia [Cower] That does it! I'm DEFINITELY QUITTING NOW!! 33-1 [Whoosh] 34-1 Lydia Oh shit. -2 [Klik klik klik klik] -3 Cops [Thud thud thud] Move up! Move! Move!! -4 Tech. [Tik tik tik] Retreat!!! [Gulp] 35-1 [Bam] [Lock] -2 [Bam bam bam bam bam bam] -3 [Thonk] 36-1 [Boooom] [Crash] -2 [Chik] [Tik tik tik tik tik tik] -4 [Shuffle shuffle] 37-1 RAW [Fweep] Lydia NO -- !!! -2 Lydia [Tik tik tik tik tik] Haaaa-- haaaa-- -3 Cop Yaaowwww! 38-1/2 [Brrrrrrp] [Bambambambambambambam] [Crash clatter] -3 Lydia [Vweeee] [thwak smak] [Elbow thrust -- whack whack] Owwwww. -4 [Thud thud thud] 39-1 [Braaaaaaap] [Note: Isn't this stuff great? Spectacular...] -2 [Whack whack whack whack whack] -3 [Tak] -4 [Boooom] 40-5 [Tik] [Note: Stunning] 41-1 [Reloading] -2 Uwahhh. -3 [Crackle] 42-1 [Doon doon doon doon] -2/3 I'm in a hurry -- let's get the hell out of here! Part 4 ------ 77-1 Lydia RAW Attack Mode: "Will confront an armed individual, or any perceived threat." [Tap tap tap tap tap] -2 [Clang] -3 Lydia If so, this may work... 78-1 Lydia If it works... -2 [Tik tik tik tik] -4 [Tik tik tik tik] 79-1 [Baarrroooooooommmm] -4 Baker Where's the Commanding Officer here!! 80-1 Leader .......... Baker Second Lieutenant Baker, US Army 87th Infantry Division, B Squad Unit 3, Reporting. -2 Baker I'm here because of information regarding a pervert trashing the insides of this hospital!!! Leader Did someone pull this guy in from Hollywood?? Cop They must have specified a weirdo. -3 [Tik tik tik tik tik] 81-1 Lydia A little more to the LEFT! -1/2 Move! See -- I don't have ANY weapons. Now move! Move! -2 [Tik tik tik tik tik tik tik] -3 Movemovemovemovemovemovemovemovemovemovemove... MOVE! -4 RAW [Beeeee] [Boop] -5 Lydia So! 82-1 [Spin pull] [NOTE: (down arrow): Ankle] -3 [Click] [Panties are attached to trigger of gun on power armor.] -4 [Blam blam blam blam] 83-1 [Ching ching ching ching ching ching] -4 [Pull] 84-2 [Grab] -3 Comm. Sir! I'm picking up RAW's telemetery on the first floor! 85-1 [Pose] -2 Leader [Clatter clatter clatter] I wonder if it's too late to send them back home. Baker Prepare to fire on the first floor! -3 Lydia Laugh -- damned fucking insect!! [Ka-wham] 86-1 Baker Fire!!! [Boom Boom Boom Boom Boom Boom] Comm. RAW's gone dead, sir! -2 Baker [Whistle] WHAT? 87-1 [Boom] -2 Lydia [Boom] Wah! -3 Baker [Rumbling] ? -4 [Rumbling] -5 Leader [Rumbling] What's that noise. 88-1 [Ka-BOOM] -2 Baker What -- where are those explosions coming from? Comm. All helicopters -- PULL BACK!! -3 Pilot [Ka-rash] SHIT!!! -4 [Boo--whump] 89-1 [Boom] [Crash] [Shatter] -2 [Boom boom boom boom boom boom] 90-1/2 [Thundering roar] -3 Baker [Thundering roar] Oh -- oh -- oh --- 91-1 Baker Did I do that!? Did I do that!? That's not MY fault, is it!? Leader Get back to your base NOW, you Goddamn MORON! -2 [Rumble rumble rumble] -3 Lydia [Settle] ........ -4 [Creak] [Bang bang thud] 92-1 Lydia I'm alive. Ah -- ..... -2 Lydia [Ka-chank!] Do any of you guys know how to write a resignation letter? -3 Bru. So -- How did the perps cause that damned insect to go berzerk? 93-1 Lydia According to the newspapers, it was a programming error -- the original code, after it was loaded, ran out of memory. -2 Bru. -- That's NOT a good answer! -3 Bru. I don't get this! I'm the one that got busted up, and you get your face on the front page! [Thwack] -4 Bru. What's worse, I'm stuck in YOUR bed! [On the cast: Sign up for Special Forces; Ridea Owen; the next issue will have more erotic sex -- Bren-303.] 94-1 Lydia Ma--ybe. [Smile] -2 Bru. I -- I -3 Bru. [Construction noises] Maybe *I* should resign, too.......